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As 2010 begins, everyone usually spends time reflecting, setting, goals, joining health clubs, etc. Last year, I saw a blog post by Chris Brogan describing his preference for setting the tone for the new year by choosing three words that reflect his focus for the coming year. I really liked that idea.

My three words last year that I chose to be my focus were: Genuine, Listen, Clarity.

Genuine. Despite the fact we grow out of our superficial teenage years, I find most of us as adults remain disingenuous and pretentious. Our relationships are so focused on what our environment determines as cool and impressive. The cars we drive, neighborhoods we live in, clothes we wear, friends we choose, businesses we shop at … all are so often determined with how we and others perceive how they make us look/feel. I tried to ge focused on what is really important. I need to continue seeking genuineness as it is too easy to fall back into the shallow.

Listen. Listening helps you to understand and takes the focus off you and places it on others or your surroundings. I think I started seeing just how much we don’t listen. Evidence of this is the amount of selfish noise I found on Twitter. It’s distracting and sometimes sad. Listening helped to be still. particularly when focusing on spiritual things.

Clarity. Areas of clarity I mentioned last year were those like professional direction, relationships, spirituality, past issues … and I have to say it was not a year that I found to have gained in these areas. I will keep this focus channel open.

2010 Words of Focus [Read the rest of this entry...]

First, I began working on a masters degree in adult education and training. Combine that time commitment with an increasing interest in the social media platforms Twitter and Facebook and I found far fewer hours left to devote to my blog. I also found myself lacking the physical and creative energy needed to create the posts at the level I wanted. (I have over twenty drafts sitting here from 2009!)

While I have learned a tremendous amount regarding the use of these social channels and their exciting applications to connecting with others and developing one’s brand, it is the blog that I still have the most desire to build, despite the belief of many that the blog format is becoming outmoded.

My pictures of 2009 show that despite how I have sometimes felt about the end of the decade, it was a fun year. Special events include re-connecting with some of my former 8th grade students, completing a walk across the Phoenix valley (story to follow), descending 14,000 foot Pikes Peak, seeing the Redwoods for the first time, seeing my kids continue to mature and become cool adults, and making some new friendships.

So here’s to 2010 and the continuation of learning, improving, and sharing.

What Did You Do On Your Last Day?

A recent headline regarding the passing of Michael Jackson caught my attention. Its topic covered what he had done on what became his last day. That made me think. We have no idea, usually, that our last day is here. So the question is, if this was our last day, how would you hope it would be spent? The answers provide a window of understanding to what is true, important.

In thinking about what I would hope could be written about my last day, I came up with the following 10 things I would hope the writer would discover I had done.

1. Acknowledged HIM, Jesus the savior, seeking His wisdom.
2. Recognized those in need around me and acted to help.
3. Enjoyed something in the natural surroundings: Was impressed by that day’s sunrise or sunset, weather, scenery.
4. Performed an act of kindness.
5. Laughed heartily!
6. Talked with or enjoyed the kids/family.
7. Spoke to those close that I loved them.
8. Made a real friend.
9. Made a great cup of coffee.
10. Generously expressed gratitude.

I don’t have any Bucket List items on it. And I sincerely think that the day’s satisfaction is more about spending it in relationship with others rather than personal goals or interests. Not that there is anything wrong with those, and in fact, truer to an actual day, there would be things that I would be doing relative to my interests. Keeping perspective of those things on the list makes me think is key to being happy with my days.

That would be a nice article. Better, it would be a great day.

Have you ever had your life turned upside down? Received news that changed everything? News that made everything you were thinking was important completely insignificant.

It’s happened to me once in my 50 years. The day after our first son was born, I was called into a small office by one of the Doctors of the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit to be given the news that he had been born with Hypoplastic Left Heart, a syndrome that was terminal. Time stood still.

About five days ago, a family here in the Phoenix Valley was given some news about their five year old that has, I am sure, rocked their world. Kate McRae is the five year old daughter of Holly and Aaron McRae. This past Monday they took her Phoenix Children’s Hospital to have an MRI performed. A tumor was found and surgery scheduled today. They have not left the hospital since. The surgery is in process as I write this.

Check in on Kate and the family by clicking here: Pray For Kate.

Some thoughts. I pray for Kate and her parents and her brother and sister. I am mindful of the good that I too often take for granted.

I am clearly reminded what is important.

It’s Kelly! Congratulations. Kelly lost in my How well do you know me Facebook Contest with a dismal 40% correct score. She will receive a $5 Starbucks gift card. I will be sending both Julie and Kelly an email to verify your correct address.

As you can see, I used randomizer.org to “pick” my lucky loser! I entered each loser’s name in the order in which they participated in the Facebook contest followed by those that commented on the blog post. Those that did both got two entries — although that didn’t help Lisa, Nichol, or Shana.

The entry mode looked like this: Nerdo, Greg, Nichol, Nichol, Scott, Pete, Bernie, Lisa, TellurideLisa, Kimmy, Debbie, Viv, Chrystyna, Shana, SDShana, Starwoodgal.

Thanks to you all for having some fun with this. It is cool to note we had participants from all over the  world. Norway to Singapore and both East and West coasts, with the winner, Julie, being from Texas and the lucky loser from Kansas.

(Note: I just thought of this. For those that KNOW me, it is ironic that Pete rightfully finished SECOND in this contest LOL! Pete, I will buy you a round the next time we meet again.)

There seems to be a great deal of interest from people in trying to find the best questions for their Facebook How Well Do You Know Me Quiz. I was talking with a co-worker today, Chrystyna, about our questions in our quizzes. She “made” some of hers up, suggesting that she was a culinary chef and once in the Marines. They were fun, but I chose to keep mine real. I think friends taking the quiz appreciate both approaches.

In light of the interest in what are the best questions, I offer 5 suggestions for creating yours.

1. Choose topics that are from different times in your life. Pick something from childhood, the teen years, school, young adult, etc.
2. The more real, the better. Sometimes, fact is more interesting than fiction. Being genuine is really appreciated.
3. Be interesting. Include at least 3 or 4 things you have done or seen. Again, these things give your friends either a memory of you because they were there or tell others something they never knew about you.
4. Have a mix of easy and hard questions. Easy in that most will know the answer and hard as in only a select few will get it correct. You don’t want questions that no one knows. People will like your quiz better if they see that the answers are in fact known by someone in your life.
5. While the best questions are those that are revealing, use discretion! It is probably best not to divulge things related to past mistakes or bad decisions. Keep your revelations fun.

I’ve found this Facebook quiz fun to do and fun to participate in. If you have a great question you have either seen in one of the quizzes or used in your own, share it as a comment. I would say my fave question in my quiz was which song I sang in my first karaoke experience, probably because not many knew about that. No one that took my quiz were there that night. What questions would you ask?

Congratulations to everyone who commented on the previous post and all those that took the How Well Do You Know Me Quiz on my Facebook profile. You were entered in my fabulous $5 Starbucks Gift Card contest.

The Grand Prize winner is JULIE COOK, who correctly identified an astounding 60 percent correct! It must be mentioned that Julie has never met me! Julie will be the recipient of the Starbucks gift card.

As promised, here are the correct answers.

What city was I born in? Lima, Ohio. Many chose Colorado Springs probably because I lived there most of my life.

What is my middle name? Jeffrey. Ladelphia would have gotten you creative points.

What song did I choose to sing at a karaoke bar? (first time) Wonderful Tonight – Eric Clapton. Not many would know this as not many saw or heard it, thankfully! But it happened at my own place and my head cook and good friend Tony set me up. I don’t recall it all as he unfairly used a number of shots of Wild Turkey to convince me. It was a wonderful night. Pete correctly commented that the Hootie song was not a Hootie song which was true — which made me wonder since he knew that why did he pick it?! For the record, most of you chose Hootie and the Blowfish as the music I sang. They are one of my favorite groups, but were not the choice that night.

How many times have I traveled out of the country? 4, I think.

Fave Morning Coffee Stop: Dutch Bros. Everyone should have gotten this one right. If you are fortunate to have a Dutch Bros coffee in your neck of the woods, you understand.

All were pets except: LUCY. Lucy was a cool girl that was my partner in training at Carnival Cruise Lines. Maxie was a sweet yellow lab; Ranger was a special chocolate lab; Trooper was a German Shephard mix that grew up with my kids; Mr. No was our African Grey parrot, and he named himself.

What subject did I teach? Language Arts.

8th grade girl friend’s name: Kelley.

Phil the Lurk was nickname given by whom? Denise, as in Pikes Peak Denise. Most of you had no idea because those of you who knew us in Steve’s friendship forum came after. That back in about 2002, I think, when I was much less comfortable with online anything. Denise would see that rare occasion where I would log in and called me Philthelurk.

Favorite vehicle (owned the longest): 68 Chevelle. My son even missed this! The give away was the vehicle I owned the longest. I had the Chevelle for over 20 years and had bought it from the original owner. She cried the day we transferred the title. I even remember her calling me a year later to see how the car was! I made a mistake and sold it finally to a young guy that had followed me to work to offer me a price. It took about three months before I decided it was time to let it go. I didn’t cry but felt pretty bad. In hindsight, it was a mistake. All the others were vehicles I have owned at one time or another (72 Camero, 55 Chevy Pickup, 81 CJ5, 83 GLC).

Congrats again to Julie, who by knowledge or by guess picked 6 of the 10 correctly. For the rest of you, even Shana, who scored the lowest total, I will use an online randomizer to select who will win the other gift card from Starbucks. That will be announced on Wednesday! (promise).

And should you ever have opportunity to participate in another like contest, follow me on Twitter where I share more about what I think, do, read, and believe on a daily basis.