I have perfected the recipe for popping the perfect bag of popcorn. Seriously.

Call me crazy. Go ahead and laugh uncontrollably. The proof will be in the results you get from the following instructions for popping a Jolly Time bag a microwavable popcorn perfectly, every time.

Materials and ingredients as follows:

ONE bag of Jolly Time microwave popcorn. (I usually buy it at work in the vending machine for 75 cents. Any amount more is a rip-off.) Make sure it has the Good Housekeeping seal of approval on it. That covers your rights for “replacement or refund if defective” — although who you would contact is not clear. To be honest, I have never had a bad bag of Jolly Time! (Unless you I count the one I BURNED up and filled the workplace with that smell of burnt corn.)

ONE microwave oven. I use the one at work. It is a Panasonic which I believe is a commercial model as there is no model reference on the thing.

ONE Napkin

Cooking Instructions: This is where the secrets are found. The setting for popcorn on this particular Panasonic microwave is selection number 8, which when started provides 2.5 minutes of zap time. Before placing the bag proper side up, knead the kernels so that they loosen up. Shake the bag up a few times before laying it out flat in the microwave.

Begin cooking. Listen as the popping of the kernels slow to where the popping frequency reaches about 2-3 seconds between pops.

Now here is the most important part. Stop the microwave by stopping the remaining time left. This is usually 10-15 seconds of what remains of the original 150 seconds of time we started with. (This could also vary depending on the power of the machine you are using.) DO NOT open the bag. Let it simmer in the microwave for an additional minute. Remove bag and again, do not open it for another 2 minutes. I believe this helps create a larger number of half-popped kernels! The best kind. They have the best crunch and flavor. The popped corn is also perfectly cooked.

There you have it. A perfect Jolly Time bag of popcorn.

So I challenge you to try it. Share your results in my comment section. If there is enough collaboration on this, I will publish our results.

All kidding aside, these steps result in the best bags of microwave popcorn! And I recommend the popcorn I’ve been eating since the 60s, Jolly Time!