If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

So Phil, what are those things in your life of late that have prompted you to focus on “matters of the heart.” And don’t just ramble about turning 50 soon - we all know that, and I want to read something deeper.

My friend Steve, who just finished his bike ride across America (my final report on that soon), posted this comment recently. It made me laugh and then it made me think. Of course, my circle of friends know that I am turning the Big 5-0. My closest ones even know when! (I seldom ever share this.)

So I mention that for the benefit of those that do not know it. 50 is a milestone and I think most become reflective about things then, like mistakes they have made, regrets, the good times that are past — sometimes for the first time in their lives. The results of those reflections display themselves in a variety of ways, positive and negative, constructive or destructive. I think it explains what is called the mid-life crisis. Those that don’t understand these feelings or choose not to acknowledge them tend to turn toward destructive choices — the younger woman, alcohol, partying, drugs, material things all in the quest to fill a void. Agree? All these things fail as they are the essence of shallowness. So there becomes a destructive cycle as you seek MORE thinking it will satisfy the emptiness.

I want to read something deeper. That one got me. It is a core reason I began the blog. It is what I define as relevancy. Those things that are deeper are meaningful and important. It is also the toughest posts to write because being deeper requires two things:

  • TIME — you just don’t slap together a topic that has significance to it
  • RISK — I would be putting myself out there, so to speak, being vulnerable to criticism or disagreement

I have to be willing to do both, and I am. First, I want to encourage you to leave comments. I really appreciate comments like Steve’s that actually challenge me. I can choose to ignore them, delete them (haha), disagree or agree with them. Comments do help with one of a blog’s very purposes, that of creating conversations. I want to see this develop. Many have decided to eliminate comments. Between spam, the inappropriate, or the offensive (either to me or what I would decide to the readers), some have concluded comments are not worth the hassle. I am keeping them, although I may go to a required approval for the comment to post.

Keep this in mind if you do not see that your comment is immediately displayed. Presently, I only moderate new ones or those that have multiple out links contained in them. Julie found this out as she had written a comment with two outgoing links. Not seeing her post, she posted again. Not seeing it again, she posted again! Hahaha! She thought I had denied her access. When I logged in that day to the blog, I immediately thought, “WOW, look at all those comments in moderation!” Over half were from her. The same one. So all future comments will most likely be moderated.

What are those things in your life of late that have prompted you to focus on matters of the heart? Here’s what has been happening and things I’ve been thinking about:

  1. my kids — daughter is graduating college in three weeks, son is really growing spiritually and finding his way, how to re-connect and keep connected to the most important relationships I have while life moves so quickly
  2. Dating at 50 — ooooh, I think this will be interesting and I am sure I have some or your attention now. NONE of you have ever heard from me about this (except one special friend who I have actually sought advice/perspective from). This will not be a gossip thing. It will be topical and address the issues I have found within myself and the successes and mistakes I have made and painfully sometimes continue to make.
  3. Friendship — really lacking in this world today, at least in my life and those around me. What most call friendship I would challenge.
  4. why do so many live being the big pretender? One word: Scottsdale. I am finding, for the first time in my life, the comfort and acceptance of living without pretentiousness.
  5. and one more, the event(s) that began just over 18 months ago that has/have brought me front and center with the my matters of the heart.

And don’t just ramble! C’mon, Steve. It’s what I unfortunately do best. I appreciate your challenge, and I promise to begin to address the deeper things the best way I can. It will be a challenge to “put it out there”.